Can we get back to being strangers again?

Can we get back to being strangers again? Can we get back to just knowing each other again? Can we get back to the time you actually listened to me with intent and curiosity again?

That time when you listened to actually listen and not reply back. That time when you would not get frustrated about my late replies cause you were just grateful for our fun-filled talks. That time when there were no expectations, no being taken for granted… Relationships are weird. Us human beings, even weirder. We get attached, we expect, we get hurt. And when you get attached you expect me to get attached too. Else you get hurt. Oh so complicated, oh so weird.

Love is not about expecting but about giving I used to believe. Love is unconditional I used to believe. Loving a flower means not plucking it and just letting it be, I’d read. And I hold on to all of that. As soon as someone EXPECTS me to love them back, I cringe. But between my big philosophies and your small requests we got to find a way. Cause you do not ask for much. A little bit of my time, a little bit of validation, a need to know that the love is mutual… Because you are just human. Imperfectly, beautifully human. Cause in spite of my big philosophies I am just human too.  And it does happen that I wait for a message and get frustrated when it doesn’t come.

Love is nothing but a sharing of energy OSHO says. You have so much that you give. Love isn’t about need, love isn’t about expecting someone else to fill you up. Love happens when you’re yourself so filled that you overflow. Big philosophies again. Beautiful yet farfetched talks again. Maybe somewhere, someone’s healing touch can help. Maybe someone can make life just a little more meaningful, pain a little more bearable. But in the end, I believe we got to untangle our own issues before holding someone else’s hand. I want to be loved by someone who in no way needs me but just wants me. Here and now. And you are strong enough. With or without me.

Will you wait till we find that kind of love?  Or will you find someone who is as unsure as you? Your feet could be wobbly but you could hold each other’s hands. She will be glad that you care, she will not be overly philosophical; even though half-filled you’ll complete each other. That could be a beautiful love story too. I will very gladly let you go. I love you enough to want you to be free and happy. But in the meantime, I still ask: can we get back to being strangers again?

 

Written by Luckshmee Jeawon

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