I wasn't Hers. And, She could never be Mine.

I never knew I could love someone that much until I met her..
And, you know what?
I wasn’t hers.. And, she could never be mine..


I saw her that day..
Conversation hummed in the crowd as she sways her way out towards her tribe..She was drop-dead gorgeous in her chalk-white strapless dress adorned with her carmine heels. I was spellbind by her beauty.

I loved looking at her. It was something that I couldn’t explain nor say aloud.

It’s been three weeks since I treated her like crap, she didn’t deserve that from me.
But, what can I do?
My feelings were getting overboard for her.
How could I ever tell her? How could I ever believe that myself?

And, I lashed out at her on something so stupid because I needed to keep her away from me.

She has made new friends now.
She’s different.
I am amazed of how she pulled out her strength and is feeling so much joy now.
She was not even looking at me; it was as if I never existed for her.
She was ignoring me till I fade and, I deserved that.

I can’t keep my eyes off her.
That smile.. I gazed at that smile. It’s that smile which attracted him in the first place. Her simper smile which made her blue eyes brightened more.
Her cheeks rosed as she was grinning from ear to ear with that guy.
I felt a sharp pang of jealousy.
Men were always hovering around her like bees.
It wasn’t her impeccable beauty which kept the men coming back for her; it was her everything.

I watched her dissolved in laughter, flipping her thick black curly hair like a shimmering mermaid who glowed like moonlight on the darkest night.
She looked so beautiful.
She had everything that I ever wanted in my soulmate.
And, I can never have her ever.

I closed my eyes, listening to her melodious, cheerful giggles.

I wanted to take her back home and open my soul to her. I wanted to rock her like a baby in my arms, and tell her my darkest secrets. I wanted to share my deepest wounds and cry with her.

And, as I opened my eyes, all I wanted to do was to love her.

Her hazel eyes shifted on me for a second before she turned away.
That moment held my breath.
She knows why I behaved like this. Like a Dick.
I know.
But, we can never say it aloud.
I had never felt that way about another woman, not even about my own fiance.
Yes, I was engaged.

Now, you know why she just could never be mine.. And, why I wasn’t Hers.


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