Need better understanding? Maybe the lessons that I learnt through my experiences will help:
- Accept the fact that your partner is a different person
You may have some common hobbies or common things, but everybody is unique and each of us has a different personality. People often mistake the fact that their partner should behave the same like them. Respect your partner’s unique habits and love them for who they are.
2. Make your partner your best friend
As the most famous phrase goes “Marry your best friend” and if your partner is not your best friend, make him/her your best friend. Don’t behave differently with friends and your partner. Show the real you, be crazy with him/her. Behave the same way as you would with your best buddies.
3. Be sure to have good communication with your partner
Communicating with your partner is maybe one of the most important aspect in a relationship. When you interact, make sure that you’re not complaining or putting blames. And, yes make your interactions regular, not an event.
4. Learn to let go of resentment or past fights
It’s normal for any couple to have some disagreements. But, keeping those little things in heart or keeping score is not a good idea. Maybe your partner had a rough day or woke up on the wrong foot and, talked a bit rudely to you. Later on, your partner apologized for the rude behaviour. Some people have hard time to forgive even the little things. But, staying angry over those little things only create distance in the relationship.
5. Another lesson that I learned is to never have a discussion when you’re angry
When people gets angry, their brain stop working. This is where things can get ugly. It is important to know when to back off in such situations and resolve the matter when you’ve cooled down.
6. Learn to appreciate the little things
You got angry because he forgot to call or didn’t bring you out on a date since so many days, but you didn’t notice and appreciate the flowers he got for you back from work or the coffee he made for you in the morning. It’s the little things who count, not the big ones.
7. Stop expecting
Why have so many expectations about your partner or your relationships? Why expect that it’s your partner who has to call you first or to plan the anniversary?
Take the first step yourself or just let your partner know about what you’re expecting on your first anniversary. Sitting there, imagining things to happen, then expecting your partner to fulfil those dreams which you had in your head is not going to work. This is what lead to disappointments in relationships.
8. Accept your partner’s flaws
Nobody is perfect. Everybody has flaws. Some people hide them, some show it fearlessly to the world.
I love Adam Levine’s lyrics of Locked Away:
“If I showed you my flaws, would you still love me the same?”
You don’t have to love your partner’s flaws, you just have to accept them. Everybody is going to love your good qualities, but your flaws? It takes a real woman and a real man to accept them.