How to better understand your partner?

Need better understanding? Maybe the lessons that I learnt through my experiences will help:

  1. Accept the fact that your partner is a different person

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You may have some common hobbies or common things, but everybody is unique and each of us has a different personality. People often mistake the fact that their partner should behave the same like them. Respect your partner’s unique habits and love them for who they are.

2. Make your partner your best friend

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As the most famous phrase goes “Marry your best friend” and if your partner is not your best friend, make him/her your best friend. Don’t behave differently with friends and your partner. Show the real you, be crazy with him/her. Behave the same way as you would with your best buddies.

3. Be sure to have good communication with your partner

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Communicating with your partner is maybe one of the most important aspect in a relationship. When you interact, make sure that you’re not complaining or putting blames. And, yes make your interactions regular, not an event.

 

4. Learn to let go of resentment or past fights

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It’s normal for any couple to have some disagreements. But, keeping those little things in heart or keeping score is not a good idea. Maybe your partner had a rough day or woke up on the wrong foot and, talked a bit rudely to you. Later on, your partner apologized for the rude behaviour. Some people have hard time to forgive even the little things. But, staying angry over those little things only create distance in the relationship.

5. Another lesson that I learned is to never have a discussion when you’re angry

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When people gets angry, their brain stop working. This is where things can get ugly. It is important to know when to back off in such situations and resolve the matter when you’ve cooled down.

6. Learn to appreciate the little things

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You got angry because he forgot to call or didn’t bring you out on a date since so many days, but you didn’t notice and appreciate the flowers he got for you back from work or the coffee he made for you in the morning. It’s the little things who count, not the big ones.

7. Stop expecting

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Expectation! Expectation!

Why have so many expectations about your partner or your relationships? Why expect that it’s your partner who has to call you first or to plan the anniversary?

Take the first step yourself or just let your partner know about what you’re expecting on your first anniversary. Sitting there, imagining things to happen, then expecting your partner to fulfil those dreams which you had in your head is not going to work. This is what lead to disappointments in relationships.

8. Accept your partner’s flaws

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Nobody is perfect. Everybody has flaws. Some people hide them, some show it fearlessly to the world.

I love Adam Levine’s lyrics of Locked Away:

“If I showed you my flaws, would you still love me the same?”

You don’t have to love your partner’s flaws, you just have to accept them. Everybody is going to love your good qualities, but your flaws? It takes a real woman and a real man to accept them.

 

33 Replies to “How to better understand your partner?”

  1. I’ve been married for 24 years next month…still working on understanding my husband. I think it’s in the “still working” part that love is really love. (Not the “romantic” bits.) It is sometimes hard, but when you get to a place where you understand each other…THAT is what it is about! 🙂

  2. we have just started out…but im guilty of point 7th….why doesn he call me first …why doesn he plan date first,even though he’s very considerate…i guess i need to work on that 😦

    1. My advice is you need to understand why he’s behaving like this first.
      Maybe he’s busy with work? Or he has no time?
      Understanding is the key!
      If you need some advice, I will gladly help in private 🙂

  3. It’s so sad that these things even need to be written, you’re so true and it’s nice to see so many comments because they’re so important in any relationship! Great read, cute GIF’s.

  4. Great post! These are really good reminders of how to treat each other. I especially like the comments about expectations.

  5. This is such an inspiring post. I believe that sometimes you get so caught up in the “illusion of perfect” that we forget to really give the little things about our partner an extra push. I absolutely love this post. I may have to pin it for future reference for myself and my followers. The Johnny Depp gifs really put that cherry on top for me too. ❤

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