Naked, Flawed and Beautiful

I do not send out friend requests often. But there is this particular person who caught my eye and I clicked on the rectangular green button on his Facebook profile. Now, for me to do that meant that this person was really impressive; it was not a cute profile picture or popularity. Still, when he immediately accepted and messaged me, I became all pretentious, almost rude.

“Do you always message people who send you friend requests to say ‘thank you’? I asked with a sassy smiley. “No, I just wanted to start the conversation with you. Do we know each other?” he asked. “[…] Idk. Am I the one who added you?” I retorted. Now, I’ve always had a little of attitude, I have never been into sugar-coating things but this sassiness of mine hid some kind of insecurity. I did not want to tell him straightaway that he’d impressed me. I was afraid to be truthful. To be… vulnerable.

And this is so weird, I thought to myself. Lately, I’ve been working on putting my shield down. To just be out there. To be who I am. And I found that it was okay. It was okay to be interviewed for the post of a web content writer and journalist and to say that I have social anxiety, that I sometimes find it hard to interact with people. That wasn’t what google had taught me about job interviews. Google had asked me to look confident, to only focus on my strengths. I did not. And it was okay. It was okay when, after I got that job, I sometimes had moments of panic, moments during which I would get into my shell. Yes my boss saw my hand shaking when I interviewed a person for the first time and it was okay. The other day a client we write advertorials for mentioned being a little more careful when talking to me because she knows I might get anxious. She did not mean it in a bad way; she knows how I am, she gets it, it’s no big deal (as long as I write good articles for them) and she tries to help. What a relief!

What a relief to be out there and letting people see me. And the thing with anxiety is that once you just act and let go of the ‘what if’, it becomes so much easier. We’re all fighting little battles every day, why make our burdens even heavier with pretension? If you put down the armor, if you do not even fight who will defeat you? I learnt to strip away my pretension. Are you nervous? “Yes”, I reply. ‘Fake it till you make it’ might work for others, not for me. I opt for truthfulness. With myself. With others. It is hard to put away the armor, to strip away the pretense. It is hard to be naked. They see it all. They see the beautiful skin but they also see the bruises. But that is you. It is not about valuing the flaws, about complaining about them or be a victim because of them. But it isn’t about hating them either. They are your flaws; you are imperfect; it is okay.

If I can do it in a job interview and in my everyday life why can I tell a guy that he impressed me? It is trivial but it matters. Go out there, be yourself. Get naked, show your flaws, show your bruises. Free; you’ll feel free. And fearless. Do it for the big things, do it for the trivial things. Let go of the politically correct. Do not waste time to think of something impressive to say. Just say the truth. Just say what you feel. Don’t put an armor around yourself, don’t put an armor around your feelings. Undo the corset of pretense. Breathe. Don’t seek to impress. Just be real. And you might be surprised. Others might strip too and you will see that they are as bruised, as flawed as you. Naked, flawed and beautiful. Now will you please excuse me, I need to go message a guy and tell him that yes, I did send him a friend request, that I do admire the way he stands up for causes and strives for his passion.

Written by Luckshmee Jeawon 🙂 

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They said, I am Weird & Stupid. But, am I really?

They told me I was weird, proud and every other word used to describe bizarre…

What was happening to me?

Is this what those big men called “growing”?
Whatever.. It is a strange feeling, but peaceful one inside.

I lost friends. The circle is small now. Very small.
I feel drawn to mature people. I love hearing motivational speaker.
I heard that if you wanna grow up, the path to this is lonely, hard.

I talk to the universe..a lot… I feel closer to the universe.. I get “SIGNS”.. People who meditate will understand what am talking about.
I am more calm and grateful. I have developed something for every night before I sleep:
“What are you grateful for today, Neha?”

And, that practice forces my brain to think and see things differently and thus, I now have something to be grateful for every single day.

And, even when things get rough, it’s as if the universe has my back.
Like last night, this week has been bad; like moody bad and yesterday, I was racking my brain to think what was I grateful for? I got the , “I’m grateful to be alive only.”
But, just at that moment, I checked my Instagram notifications &

Andrea Navedo (Xiomara in Jane the Virgin) had liked one of the pictures I had posted about the Flash!!!!

You don’t believe me? See for yourself:

img_2766

But, that’s not the only awesome thing that has happened.
Who would have thought that Todd Carey would follow & tweet me?
Who would have thought that Neha’s blog would get more than 110 followers, with 100 views per day?
Who would have thought that I would host Kindle Best Selling Authors’ interviews and be featured in Scriggler & Niume?
Who would have thought my ebook “7 keys to happiness” would get more than 50 views?

But, that’s not achievements.. that’s stupidity, they said

They regarded me as being weird..very weird.. 
I could no longer stand hearing people gossiping about others.
I remember, everyone had made a group and they were gossiping. About everyone. That what most people do. That’s suppose to be “normal” in this society I live.
But, I couldn’t stand that.
Being in that group, I felt like someone locked me in a box forever. I felt uneasy. Very uncomfortable. For they were the people I have been seeing since my birth.
But, I could no longer be with them.

So, I had a choice – To say No to this behavior or say yes and be accepted in the group.
Saying no would mean being alone… I guess, this is the reason why most people don’t get out of their comfort zone, for fear of ending up alone and not being accepted by everyone.

But, I said no & left. Knowing what would happened when I would be the only one who is not in the group.

“What is wrong with her – She’s very weird – or maybe, just rude. Bizarre -…”

They talked about me. They are still talking about me.

But, I don’t fit in. I just don’t fit in now.

What was happening to me? What changed?

But, I am happier now… 

I no longer feel the need to change myself in order to be accepted. I am my best friend.
I no longer fear loneliness.  My “me-time” has become the best time of the day!

But, they told me I was stupid when I rejected a job.. That I would never achieve anything in life.. They said, I was imbecile. 

I just wanted to do the job that I love. Because, doing something that I love would be call passion.
I didn’t want to end up like almost everyone who hate Mondays & love Fridays.
I didn’t want to be that person who lived only on the weekends.
No, I didn’t want to be that person who dies at 25 and isn’t buried until 75.

But, then they said that everybody has to settle in life. You have to take whatever you get. This is life. It’s called compromise and those who don’t settle never achieve quickly. 

But, how could I settle for less than I deserve when I know that I deserve the best in life? And , not just me. Everybody. Everyone deserve the best.
But, if you settle, you don’t get the best. Then, you have no right to be ask the universe why your life sucks, why your job is such a pain in the ass or why your relationship is so bad. You choose to settle right?
So, why complain now? Why complain?

But, Hey! What do I know? I’m just the weirdo of the society…

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You are exactly where you need to be right now!

Pain incites change. 

So, remember if you’re going through a hard phase in your life right now, it’s just because the universe wants you to grow more and that there’s something better out there waiting for you.

I have put up some famous quotes for inspiration:

“This is the key to life: the ability to reflect, the ability to know yourself, the ability to pause for a second before reacting automatically. If you can truly know yourself, you will begin the journey of transformation.” – Deepak Chopra

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin

“There are no regrets in life. Just lessons.”- Jennifer Aniston

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S.Lewis

“You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to. ” –Mary Tyler Moore

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”Marilyn Monroe

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”27Lao Tzu

And, the speech I really loved from Taylor Swift:

“I want to say to all the young women out there, there will be people along the way who will try to undercut your success,” she said. “Or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.But if you just focus on the work … you will look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there. That will be the greatest moment.” 

#Be Happy :’)

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